The WordPress tourist

agrace

The WordPress tourist

Maybe a new WordPress tourist
They insist may never be missed
May we please see free
A prompt post daily
Place the new tourist on the list

Alan Grace
30 June 2018

Daily prompt: Jun 29 Tourist

I recycle 2016 Daily Word Prompts

Maybe replace “tourist” with “purist” if you like?

See:
https://dailypost.wordpress.com/2018/05/24/to-the-daily-post-community-thank-you/

 

[KO-KO]
As some day it may happen that a victim must be found
I’ve got a little list — I’ve got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground
And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!
There’s the pestilential nuisances who write for autographs —
All people who have flabby hands and irritating laughs —
All children who are up in dates, and floor you with ’em flat —
All persons who in shaking hands, shake hands with you like that —
And all third persons who on spoiling tête-á-têtes insist —
They’d none of ’em be missed — they’d none of ’em be missed!

[Chorus]
He’s got ’em on the list — he’s got ’em on the list;
And they’ll none of ’em be missed — they’ll none of ’em be missed

[KO-KO]
There’s the banjo serenader, and the others of his race
And the piano-organist — I’ve got him on the list!
And the people who eat peppermint and puff it in your face
They never would be missed — they never would be missed!
Then the idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone
All centuries but this, and every country but his own;
And the lady from the provinces, who dresses like a guy
And who “doesn’t think she dances, but would rather like to try”;
And that singular anomaly, the lady novelist —
I don’t think she’d be missed — I’m sure she’d not he missed!

[Chorus]
He’s got her on the list — he’s got her on the list;
And I don’t think she’ll be missed — I’m sure she’ll not be missed!

[KO-KO]
And that Nisi Prius nuisance, who just now is rather rife
The Judicial humorist — I’ve got him on the list!
All funny fellows, comic men, and clowns of private life —
They’d none of ’em be missed — they’d none of ’em be missed
And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind
Such as — What d’ye call him — Thing’em-bob, and likewise — Never-mind
And ‘St— ‘st— ‘st— and What’s-his-name, and also You-know-who —
The task of filling up the blanks I’d rather leave to you
But it really doesn’t matter whom you put upon the list
For they’d none of ’em be missed — they’d none of ’em be missed!

[Chorus]
You may put ’em on the list — you may put ’em on the list;
And they’ll none of ’em be missed — they’ll none of ’em be missed!

I’ve Got a Little List

Hot Mikado – Original Cast

If someday it should happen
That a victim must be found,
I’ve got a little list.

I’ve got a little list.
Of society offenders
Who might well be underground
Who never would be missed.
Who never would be missed.
There’s the devotees of movie stars who
write for autographs.
All people who have flabby hands
and irritating laughs.
(Name please).
All children who play instruments
But always play them flat.
(I hate that.)
All people who when shaking hands
Shake hands with you like that.
(See what I mean? Hurts, doesn’t it?
It’s terrible. They grab on, they hold on,
They squeeze, they won’t let go.
It’s unforgiveable.)
And Billy Sunday, Reverand Ike,
And all Revivalists.
They’ll none of them be missed.
Amen!
They’ll none of them be missed.
He’s got ’em on the list.
He’s got ’em on the list.
And they’ll none of them be missed.
They’ll none of them be missed.

There’s the ragtime seranader,
and the others of his race.
The piano organist.
I’ve got ’em on the list.
All people who eat peppermint
(He’s got a gun!)
And puff it in your face.
They never would be missed.
They never would be missed.

The woman on the party line who’s
“Always on the phone.”
The recluse, who like Garbo
Simply “vants to be alone.”
The Bobby Sox fanatics
Who when Frank Sinatra’s heard
Will faint and shriek and gurgle
So you cannot hear a word.
And that singular absurdity:
The swingtime pianist.
(Shh! Ahh!)
I don’t think he’ll be missed.
I’m sure he won’t be missed!

He’s got him on the list.
La la!
He’s got him on the list.
I do!
And I don’t think he’ll be missed.
Uh uh!
I’m sure he’ll not be missed.

There’s the liberal excess
of Franklin Delano and wife.
That avid New Dealist.
I’ve got her on the list.
All funny fellows, comic men,
And clowns of private life.
They never would be missed.
They never would be missed.

Americans, when traveling,
Who are such adventurous folk.
They only order hamburgers
And wash them down with coke.
(Hiccup Pardonne-moi.)
I have more empty spaces left,
But what is one to do?
The task of filling up the list,
I’d rather leave to you.
But it doesn’t really matter
Whom you put upon the list.
For they’ll none of them be missed.
They’ll none of them be missed.
You may put ’em on the list.
(You may)
You may put ’em on the list.
(Yeah ha)
And they’ll none of them be missed.
They’ll none of them be missed.
Little list!

MicardoList

 

Leave a Reply